Emotional Nutrients header

Original Watercolor Running Free by Lee Mothes. Copyright 1998, www.oceansanddreams.com

Emotional Support
When YOU  Need It - 24/7!

Emotional Support 24/7 Free Articles Ask Your Health Improvement Question Links
 BetterHealthBytes Newsletter 
 
 
article feature
Back |  Print  |  Bookmark
Honesty - Do You Know When It's the WORST Policy?
 
Sometimes honesty can actually be unsafe...

You've no doubt heard it over and over: "Honesty is the best policy." Well, no doubt there are situations where it is. For example, you have an intimate relationship, there's a high level of trust, the relationship has maintained over time, - that's a situation where honesty is not only the best policy, but it will enhance the level of emotional intimacy, connection and satisfaction.

But that said, there are situations where honesty is definitely NOT the best policy. To truly make your 'honesty choices' wisely and avoid all manner of possible negative consequences, it's important to know when to button your lip.

Here's one example: Your work environment has an opening at a level above yours, and you want to be considered. Meanwhile one of your co-workers shares something about his/her life that's more personal and intimate, and encourages you to do the same. They ask leading questions, they appear to be concerned about you, they may ask "how is such-and-such going?". Their manner says "I care about you."

So you share some details about yourself you would have otherwise kept to yourself, and the next thing you know, the higher ups that will make the choice about who gets that promotion have somehow gotten wind of your personal information. Now you look bad, and guess what - the person you shared them with is now looking like a much better choice. To put it briefly, you've been had.

The previous example is about a particular situation. But are there people with whom sharing personal information is not a good idea? In short, YES! There are people in this world who are all smooth as glass on the outside. They find out what's important to you and then align themselves with those values, saying that's what they want too. They may even produce evidence of their desires matching yours.

But all this is a con, designed to get you into a situation where your guard is down, where you are vulnerable - physically, emotionally, financially or more. Then they take advantage, and you are left not knowing what hit you.

The buildup to this payoff for them can be short, as in a number of minutes or days, or really long - over a number of years. Think of the movie starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford, called "The Sting". The two laid very detailed and convoluted plans for conning their mark.

These cons can even become imbedded in organizational culture. To see this laid out in the financial industry and learn how it caused the recent financial crisis, read Liar's Poker by a financial insider - the former bonds trader and journalist Michael Lewis.

But to find out how to identify these situations, people and organizations before you get taken in by them, I suggest you read Roxanne Livingston's book Chronically Hurtful People.

Roxanne is a social worker (and former BHB guest author) who spent well over 30 years working with the diagnostic categories called 'sociopaths' and 'character disorders'. She has lots of identifying tips and self-care strategies.

And if you've already been taken in - well, you're certainly not alone. There are smooth operators everywhere, and they present themselves with complete innocence and trust. And some are incredibly skillful.

The problem is that the more honestly you share what's going on with you, the more they use it to manipulate you and take advantage of you.

So, what to do? First, always listen to your gut, as it often 'knows' this is going on before your head does. Also recommended is listening to Roxanne.

Pamela Levin is an R.N. and a Teaching & Supervising Transactional Analyst with 500+ post-graduate hours in clinical nutrition, herbology and applied kinesiology. In private practice 42 years, her professional experience also includes most hospital settings.

Pamela Levin, R.N., T.S.T.A.
October 21, 2013

Source: http://betterhealthbytes.com


Tags: manipulation manipulative people manipulated sociopath symptoms sociopath personality disorder character disorder personality disorders psychological manipulation sociopathic personality disorder

Do these articles spark any topics you'd
like to see covered?

If so, suggest them here.

Subscribe to Better Health Bytes NEWSLETTER so you'll know when your topic is addressed.

We HATE SPAM and respect your email privacy.

By letting us know what you're intererested in, you help shape health improvement content that can empower a large number of people, so we encourage you to let us know what you'd like covered.

Note: We do not make recommendations based on any individual's specific health situation.We offer general information beneficial to anyone with health concerns. We cannot guarantee an answer to every question or request.

 ↑ Back to Top

 

Get your Free

Raise
Your
Emotional Intelligence
(EQ) Quiz
 
and followup
Minicourse 
with
Tips to Raise Your EQ!
 

________________

 For Access to

Free Articles

to Support Your

Better Health and Greater Well-being,

 Click Here

_________________

Pamela Levin is an R.N. and a Teaching and Supervising Transactional Analyst who has been in private practice offering health improvement services for 40 years.

She has over 500 post-graduate hours of training in clinical nutrition, herbology and applied kineseology.

She has published many professional journal and lay audience articles and has an international reputation in the fields of emotional development, emotional intelligence and Transactional Analysis.

For her work in these areas, she was awarded the prestigious Eric Berne Award by members of the International Transactional Analysis Association in 72 countries.

She has lectured and trained both lay and professional audiences all over the world.

Her work is continues to be used  throughout North and South America, The UK, Europe, Asia and Australia.

She has personally researched the key emotional nutrients™ she makes available through this site.

They have consistently been demonstrated to be the core nutrients people need to feed all the six parts of their emotional selves. 

People from all cultures and languages in all parts of the world have used them since she first made them public in 1974 to feed their emotional selves, move from surviving to thriving, release limiting beliefs, improve parenting skills and more.

_________________________

 
_________________________